Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Mourning a Loss

Gentle friends, the thorough destruction of Gawker.com is underway. Peruse the postings this week and you will see ample evidence of the decline. (Journalism school would have served Ms. Coen well.) Please join me as I don a black sackcloth and walk the streets in mourning. We'll be gathering in the lobby of Conde Nast at 2PM.

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone knows who this is. Sorry they picked her over you!

August 11, 2004 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Uch said...

If you're going to offer up cheap sniping criticism, why don't you have the balls to step out from behind your bullshit mask of anonymity?

And better yet, why don't you suck it up until she's been on the Gawker masthead for a spell? You're swinging at a pitch that hasn't yet been delivered . . .

You know something--why the hell am I even writing this comment? Six words asshole:

Go fuck yourself. Get a life.

August 11, 2004 at 11:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it doesn't take a genius to see how shitty gawker has been this week. it's got to be her writing it.

i'm willing to give her a chance but i think it's fair to criticise too.

August 12, 2004 at 9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

choire's still at gawker, until friday. she's not even there yet.

August 12, 2004 at 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Choire deserves our sympathy for being forced to put his name to the ineptitude masquerading as writing this week. Never mind J-school, Little Miss Everything In H&M Is Pink needs English 101. If I see any more clumsily split infinitives (‘denies loudly today to the NY Observer that they're closing that yuppie-packed location’; ‘which seemed to often end with Goldstein screaming’), botched syntax (‘The Weekly World News issues a breaking story this week that terrorists have been diligently working on a master weapon’) or bad punctuation (‘In any event -- this picture accompanies a piece by the new NYT architecture critic Nicolai Ouroussoff’) I’m going track her down and administer bitch-slaps with a copy of Strunk and White’s ‘The Elements of Style’.

August 12, 2004 at 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think your name is jake. not bluejake or whatever, but a different jake. i know who. is that so wrong?

August 12, 2004 at 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been a loooong time since you've been laid, hasn't it Strunk and White?

August 12, 2004 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger Eliot said...

Why so anonymous, everyone? Attribution is fun! It tickles! Hee hee!

August 12, 2004 at 1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THANK GOD someone said it. Gawker reads like shit this week and I'd bet everything I have that Choire is NOT editing it. If you can't see the difference, you're blind. (Are you reading the braille version?)

August 12, 2004 at 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a small little world your bloggosphere is. Homos and Conde Nast are over. The governor of New Jersey is a homo. Conde Nast publishes Cargo. Las Vegas is the new Manhattan. The future is Dick Cheney wearing a Kabbalah bracelet.

Seriously, broaden your horizons, take up canasta or something.

And pardon me while I whip out my dangling participle, bitch.. you like that? Slap me with your Strunk. Yeahh, I like that.

August 12, 2004 at 3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for posting, jessica!

August 12, 2004 at 4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, how's it going? My name is Anonymous. Yeah, I know, it's sort of weird. It's an old family name. My grandparents are from Duechebaggovia, it's near Romania. So, anyway, what are you into? Oh, you're into architecture? And you served in the Peace Corps? Wow, that's really cool. I always sort of wanted to do something like that, but I heard they don't have the internet in, like, Africa. What's that? What do I do? Well, I used to be in college. College was, like, great. Now, well, nowadays I guess I don't do much. Oh, actually, you know what? I hate that new person who writes Gawker. Yeah, totally, I'm really into ragging about it. Uh-huh. I even made a website about it. Some people think it's not easy, but it pretty much takes up most of my time. Why don't I like her? Well, for one thing, she's, like new. And, well, another thing, is like, well, I mean, I just know it's going to be bad, you know? I mean, ok, she hasn't written anything for the site yet, but, well, trust me, it's going to be lame. So anyway, back to you. Did you have a blog when you were in the Peace Corps?

August 12, 2004 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger EmployeeMegan said...

It's really difficult to distinguish between all the anonymii 'round these parts. Maybe we should all own up to our anguish. Actually, maybe we should all stop feeling anguish over this entirely...

August 12, 2004 at 5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing, choire!

August 12, 2004 at 7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the fuck is up with the interviews of the V-list celebrities this week? who was that christian biatch and why should we care?
this new gawker shit is worst that that greydon gate circlejerk a few weeks ago. shit. you white people need to step up your blog game.

August 13, 2004 at 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats funny is how easy is it to tell when choire sicha is writing and when it's the new girl. one knows how to write, the other writes like it's an IM between a bunch of 15 yo girls.

August 13, 2004 at 1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gawker sucks. Has always sucked. I hate you New Yorker clowns. Always trying to be snarky and cool. Well you're SOOOOOO snarky and cool. Congrats!

August 13, 2004 at 3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do you guys remember that website gawkerisdead? it was hosted on blogspot, and was the cat's meow!

but then it sat down atop a motorcycle, revved the engine loudly, and decided to leap over a series of sharks in a climactic episode of the tv series happy days, and this resulted.gawkerisdeadisdead.blogspot.com

August 15, 2004 at 8:54 PM  
Blogger Uncle Grambo said...

it should've been me! damn you, Jessica, for stealing the only job that i ever really wanted and the job that i was born to do! i made you! I MADE YOU!

August 16, 2004 at 2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must say, I was willing to give Jessica a chance. Every day, I've been refreshing Gawker, and finding that it just doesn't satisfy my snarky cravings. Her writing is ok, her humor completely lacking, no snark. I'm very disappointed.

August 27, 2004 at 6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, gawker just isn't the same with her at the helm. I too tried to give her a chance.

She is the Lloyd Grove of gossip webloggers.

September 27, 2004 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger winston78phoebe said...

St0ck For Your Review - FCPG

Current Profile
Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG)
Current Price $0.15


A U.S. based-company dedicated to the goal of
bringing effective security solutions to the marketplace.

With violent and white-collar terrorism on the rise,
companies are starving for innovative security solutions.

FCPG is set to bring hot new security solutions to
the industry, with currently over 40 governmental and
non-governmental contracts, being negotiated.

Please Review Exactly What this Company Does.

Why consider Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG)?

Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG) holds the exclusive
marketing rights from Keyvelop, to sell the world�s
leading encryption technology to be distributed directly
to the Healthcare industry in North America.

Faceprint Global Solutions has completed its biometric
software that recognizes facial features of individuals
entering and leaving through airports, ship yards, banks,
large buildings, etc.

FCPG acquired Montreal-based Apometrix Technologies,
which enhances the companies mission of being a
full-service provider to the multi-application smart
card industry. The North American market appears ready
for significant expansion of price-competitive, proven,
multi-application solutions on smart cards. Apometrix's
forecast of over 300 customers and sales of more than $50
million in North America over the next five years, appears
very realistic, according to company management.

Faceprint Global Solutions is currently in contract negotiations
with over 40 governmental agencies and businesses seeking to use
their encryption, biometric, and smart-card technologies.

Breaking News for Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG)

Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG) is pleased to announce that
IBM will now offer the world�s leading encryption software to
its major Healthcare clients in North America.

With FCPG owning the exclusive North American rights to distribute
the worlds leading encryption and transmission software developed by
Keyvelop, FCPG is poised to capture large volumes of sales generated
by customers currently using IBM�s software in the healthcare and other industries.
�This is a very positive move for FCPG and for Keyvelop,� said FCPG
CEO Pierre Cote. �We are very happy about the decision to go with IBM.
This is a continuation of the progress made by everyone associated
with FCPG and its partners.�

Buell Duncan, IBM's general manager of ISV & Developer Relations commented,
�Collaborating with Keyvelop will ensure that we develop open solutions
that are easy to maintain and cost effective for our customers in the
healthcare and life sciences industry.�

Among other things, this new software technology which is currently
being used by a number of European healthcare companies, is used to
send any file, regardless of format or size. Encryption keys, evidence
of transmission integrity with fingerprint calculation, time-stamping
of all actions and status record updating, pre-checking sender and
receiver identities, validating file opening dates are part of Keyvelop features.
About FacePrint Global Solutions, Inc.

FCPG operates a business, which develops and delivers a variety of
technology solutions, including biometric software applications on
smart cards and other support mediums (apometric solutions). FCPG�s
products provide biometric solutions for identity authentication and a
host of smart card- and biometrics-related hardware peripherals and
software applications. Apometrix, FCPG�s wholly-owned subsidiary, combines
on-card or in-chip multi-application management solutions with best-of-breed
�in-card matching� biometrics. Keyvelop�s secure digital envelope solution
and Apometrix�s on-card biometrics work together to produce the winning
combination in the fields of security, traceability and identity management.
Conclusion:

The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little known
Companies That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens. This sto,ck will
not be a Secret for long. Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right Now!
And Please Watch This One Trade!

GO FCPG!

Disclaimer:
Information within this email contains "forwardlooking statements" within
the meaning of Section 27Aof the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21B of
the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. Any statements that express or involve
discussions with respect to predictions, expectations, beliefs,
plans, projections, objectives, goals, assumptions or future events or
performance are not statements of historical fact and may be "forward
looking statements". "Forward |ooking statements" are based on
expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are made
that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual
results or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated.
We were paid a sum of three thousand USD to disseminate this information from
ir marketing. Forward loking statements in this action may be identified through
the use of words such as "projects", "foresee", "expects", "will", "anticipates",
"estimates", "believes", "understands" or that by statements indicating
certain actions "may", "could", or "might" occur. Risk factors include
general economic and business conditions, the ability to acquire and develop
specific projects, the ability to fund operations and changes in consumer
and business consumption habits and other factors overwhich the company has
little or no control. The publisher of this newsletter does not represent
that the information contained herein are true and correct.

August 18, 2005 at 2:34 PM  
Blogger mandyjohn22072792 said...

I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

http://www.juicyfruiter.blogspot.com

February 11, 2006 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger craigprice4294984041 said...

hey, I just got a free $500.00 Gift Card. you can redeem yours at Abercrombie & Fitch All you have to do to get yours is Click Here to get a $500 free gift card for your backtoschool wardrobe

October 4, 2006 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger hga0nuqy00rfxw said...

hey, I just got a free $500.00 Gift Card. you can redeem yours at Abercrombie & Fitch All you have to do to get yours is Click Here to get a $500 free gift card for your backtoschool wardrobe

October 8, 2006 at 2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done!
[url=http://ppcdbwep.com/oriz/rsgt.html]My homepage[/url] | [url=http://rxkvfxqa.com/bfpc/tymz.html]Cool site[/url]

November 4, 2006 at 10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great work!
My homepage | Please visit

November 4, 2006 at 10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice site!
http://ppcdbwep.com/oriz/rsgt.html | http://shxozlnl.com/fkng/wgua.html

November 4, 2006 at 10:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home